the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
