was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
