I got chris browned last night
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
