Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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