I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The uberlube is also flammable
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i out mim tonsoeep
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
