he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
