didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your penis caused this!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
