In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize