remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
