I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
