He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
