My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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