so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Green mimosas i think yes
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
