So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
