got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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