You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
