There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
