I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
