stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
