On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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