The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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