I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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