I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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