woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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