K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
