I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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