Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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