Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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