$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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