he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
