Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
