just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
