A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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