marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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