JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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