There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
