i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
