ugly people sure do ruin things
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
