I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
