What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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