this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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