She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
