i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
