I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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