My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
