listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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