We're like a lot better than the average bears
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
