Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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