I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
