There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
