i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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