she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
