I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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