thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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