it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
