Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
